I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize