Need sex. Gaining weight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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