i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What a dumb baby whore.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
