hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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