dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
