He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
