I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
