if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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