but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
