to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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