she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
