What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
