Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
