I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
