I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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