Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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