Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
