we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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