Got a toothbrush?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
