Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
