Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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