my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
