my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
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And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
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Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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