Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
