I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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