That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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