You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
