sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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