Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
