For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
