I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
