Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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