Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
