Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
