Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
