they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
