i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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