uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
