he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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