Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
