this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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