Non-Jews are for practice
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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