bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
