It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Randomize
