living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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