Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize