So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
