i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
