he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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