Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
