Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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