Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
