I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
