The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
