White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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