I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
