The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize