Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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