Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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