Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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