You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize