I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize