I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
