No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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