discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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