Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
