Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
