At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come you make the beer taste better
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize